You Are What You Give... with Dame Mary Beard
One Christmas a few years ago, my lovely stepfather-in-law gifted me a copy of Mary Beard’s Women & Power: A Manifesto. Clever and endlessly enquiring, he always gives a great book every year, and inscribes something witty on the inside cover.
This one read: ‘More quivers for your bow! But alas - even from Mary Beard - a manifesto!” He knows me well; it’s a swift, incensing, fascinating read, and I commend it to you.
Imagine my excitement then, when the august author of this very tome appeared amongst our Christmas customers this year! I couldn’t resist a cheeky note to see if she might close our festive series of You Are What You Give interviews, and was amazed and delighted when she said yes!
So, without further ado, I give you the Christmas traditions, and festive gift lists, of one of Britain’s foremost - and most famous - classical scholars, Dame Winifred Mary Beard.
As a child, what did the big day look like for you, what were your family’s Christmas traditions?
I have only the vaguest memories, to be honest. My recollection is that it was all very “bought in” - shop-made Christmas pud, Christmas cake and Paxo stuffing. Even though we lived in the countryside, we also had a small fake tree that was stashed away in its box for the rest of the year - but came out in late December to be decorated with rather too much tinsel and slightly unimaginative baubles (I still loved it though). I think the holly wreath on the door was the only living thing in the line up.
My strong recollection is that the whole celebration was actually run by my mother, who worked extremely hard at getting everything together. My father would get an upsurge of Christian faith on the day itself, which demanded attendance at the local 11.00 service, and somehow managed to incorporate a good deal of alcohol on the walk home (were the pubs really open on Christmas morning? I guess they must have been.)
But strongest of all is the memory of the Christmas cards. Partly it is the sheer number. There must have been 200 or so all around the house. Partly it is how different they were from today’s cards. A large proportion were decorated with hunting scenes, horses, hounds and occasionally the sight of a poor fox. I don’t think many people send hunting scenes now!
Have you continued these traditions, or created your own?
I have gone increasingly “real” and have invested quite heavily in nostalgia. I make my own pud, cake and stuffing. And we have real trees, and a whole trunk full of decorations that are hugely more imaginative than my parents’ tinsel and assorted, round baubles.
As a family we have developed a pretty fixed ritual for the day itself, and we have now incorporated the three grandchildren into it. Basically it means getting up about 8.00 for the grown-ups (the little ones we try to keep quiet with a present or two in their stockings that keep them amused in bed for an hour or so). We work hard on getting the turkey all prepped for the oven, the vegetables peeled and ready to go. Then at about 10.30am, when that is all done, we put the bird on to roast, plate up some smoked salmon, open a bottle of champagne and open the presents.
The aim is that we then watch the King at 3.00 pm (not quite sure why we do this, but we do…) and eat at 3.30.
There is, I confess, quite a gender division underlying all this. The women are mostly in charge of the cooking. But when we have finished the pud, it is the men’s turn. They do the clearing up, while the women collapse on the sofa and argue about what film to watch… I am mostly asleep before the end of whatever we choose.
What is your most prized Christmas decoration and why…?
Each year I get a few more decorations - so I have a lot of them, to which I am very attached. Every year I am delighted to see the small glass version of a Degas ballerina coming out of the trunk. I am also keen on some of the Bedouin figures brought back from Egypt and the miniature, but still very portly Henry VIII.
Do you have any unusual or signature decorating traditions? What traditions could we borrow from the classical world when celebrating?
We usually have two trees, as we live on two main floors. I like to decorate them on different themes. Usually one is a “traditional English” tree (that’s where Henry VIII fits, along with Jane Austen and Queen Victoria - plus some imitation Victorian baubles). The other is a “multicultural, rest-of-the-world” tree (that’s where the Degas dancer goes and the Egyptian figures - plus a black African angel for the top).
We already do share a lot of traditions with the Romans. They gave each other presents at the festival of Saturnalia (that’s roughly the time of our Christmas) and they had a (sort-of) version of the office party. At Saturnalia, slave owners used to act as waiters, serving dinner to the enslaved staff.
Detail from Saturnalia (1783) by Antoine-François Callet
What is the best Christmas gift you have ever received?
A really hard one. Years ago when the kids were in their late teens, we used to give ourselves a holiday over New Year, in a place we had never been (it was a good recipe for family harmony). The trip to Iceland is especially memorable, and the outdoor bathing in naturally hot pools.
And the best one you have given?
I think I have to claim the family trip to Iceland again.
You can choose anything from the Scribble & Daub shop, what would it be and why?
I have already bought a few of these, but I would take a big box of the cherub decorations (with possibly some German tree decorations thrown in, if that is allowed).
Please share five things you would love to give, and five to receive this Christmas…
To Give:
A replica “Lewis Chessman” from the British Museum (I am biased, as I am a museum trustee, but they are wonderful)
Some great quality Italian olive oil in a coloured ceramic jar from Sous Chef
A little lemon tree from Patch Plants
A round of soft ripe Baron Bigod cheese from Neals Yard Dairy
For the little kids, Quentin Blake’s picture book, “Mr Magnolia” (Ed. a firm favourite in our house too).
To Receive:
A pair of very bright, high-top trainers
Socks - the funkier the better…with a Venus de Milo design?!
A string of garlic
Half a Stilton cheese
More from Scribble & Daub.. you choose!! How about our beautiful new Hickory Brown Kaweco fountain pen to write your next book?!
Thanks so much Mary! If you enjoyed this final instalment of the festive series, you might like to read the other inspiring, creative women who comprise this Christmas' You Are What You Give guests. You can find links to them and their Christmas traditions here:
Kerry McDermott, Digital Director, Vogue
Sophie Rowell, Interior Designer, Cote de Folk
Charlotte Molesworth, topiary queen, artist & gardener
Miranda Sinclair, World of Interiors stylist & creative director
Cover photograph: Daniel Cohen